Toward Fatherhood

A friend mused via Facebook: Why isn’t God more impatient with us? Aren’t we failing him constantly??

I’m sure it was 15 years ago now that I first investigated ‘God’s will for my life.’ Was there such a thing? Could I indeed miss it, and my life be a failure?? But all I could find in the Bible was general stuff like, “this is God’s will for you: your sanctification,” and, “give thanks in every situation - this is God’s will for you.”

Tonight I watched my 18-month-old son toddle around a friend’s living room. He flitted from one toy to another, exploring this one, trying that one out. I love how he loves to explore and learn. Lots of times he’ll trip and sprawl out on the floor, or bump his head, or get frustrated to tears when the wheels on his ride-on firetruck get hung up on the rug. It’s all part of his adventure, though. “So much of life,” I thought, “is not right or wrong; it’s just… living.”

I thought again about that question of Christians failing God. How does a son fail his father? My will for my son is far more about who he will become, than what he accomplishes today (except, of course, where the fomer depends on the latter). My general will for him is simple: learn, grow, and mature. My specific will is more tailored to his life stage: learn to mimic words, to obey, to swallow his food rather than leaving little globs of minced apples everywhere he goes.

But here’s the thing: when my son disobeys me (which is quite regularly), I call it “disobedience.” When he misbehaves, it’s “misbehaviour.” See how simple that is? The word “failure” never enters my mind. Can you even imagine any good father who might say, “Ah yeah, my kid is a failure. Fails me all the time. But he’s all I’ve got to work with.”

Childhood is not a pass/fail endeavor. It’s all stages of growth. We may reach certain goals ahead of schedule; others may take a while. We may disappoint, hurt, even anger our Father, but the “F” word will never enter his mind.